Why It’s Awesome
Listen — I’ve used a lot of toys in my time, but nothing quite prepares you for the sheer alien majesty of the Cocktopus Deluxe. This isn’t just a dildo. It’s an encounter with a kraken-level sex deity that’s come to drag you screaming (happily) into the deep.
First impressions? Sheer. Fucking. Size. The tip starts you off nice and thick at 2 inches, but by the time you’re halfway down, you’re being stretched to a glorious 3 inches wide — and that base? Covered in deliciously ridged tentacles that seem to pulse with potential. It’s thick, it’s textured, and it glows like some bioluminescent sea god waiting to be worshipped.
But let’s talk about what really pushed me over the edge — the vibration. You’ve got a remote control (battery-powered) to cycle through three deep speeds and seven wild patterns. Whether you like rumbles, pulsations, or full-body buzzes, this oceanic beast delivers. And yes — when you hit the right setting and thrust it deep — it feels like Poseidon himself is tongue-fucking your soul.
I tried it in the tub (yes, it’s fully waterproof — IPX7!) and let me tell you, fucking myself in the water with a glowing, vibrating sea monster while my legs trembled against the tile? Transcendent. The suction base sticks solidly to the wall or floor, and the toy’s texture combined with the vibration makes every grind feel like you’re getting devoured — lovingly.
The glow-in-the-dark effect isn’t just gimmicky either — in a dim room, it’s fucking ethereal. The silicone glows with a mix of glowing blues and purples like deep-sea lighting. And I live for that aesthetic.
Spec
- Total Length: 8.2 inches
- Insertable Length: 7.7 inches
- Diameter: 2.2” at the tip, expanding to 3” at the base
- Material: Silicone (body-safe), plastic remote
- Glow Effect: Blue & purple glow in the dark (charge with UV light)
- Vibration: 3 speeds + 7 patterns (battery-operated remote)
- Waterproof Rating: IPX7 – fully submersible up to 30 mins
- Rechargeable: Yes, USB cable included
- Suction Cup Base: Yes
- Color: Clear white (light), glows blue & purple (dark)
Final Thoughts
Whether you’re a deep-sea fantasy slut or just someone who loves powerful vibes and satisfying stretch, the Cocktopus Deluxe is absolutely worth your treasure chest of gold doubloons. It’s girthy, it’s glowing, it vibrates like a beast, and it’s waterproof — what more could you ask for?
Don’t waste your time waiting for overpriced stores to restock. Grab it now at AlienDildo.com — the only place you’ll find it in stock and at the best price.