About us
Why WWe Test the Monster Dicks, So You Don’t Have to (Unless You Want To)
Welcome to Creature Cock Reviews—your home for honest, detailed, and sometimes hilariously over-the-top reviews of fantasy dildos.
We specialize in reviewing Creature Cocks—a fantasy toy brand designed for those who love things big, bold, and totally out of this world. Our site exists for the curious, the collectors, the size queens, the monsterfuckers, and everyone in between who’s ever looked at a tentacled alien shaft and thought… “yeah, I’d try that.”
🧠 Why We Created This Site
Fantasy toys are nothing new—but good information about them? That’s rare.
Most online sex toy reviews are vague, outdated, or clearly written by people who’ve never actually used the product. We wanted to change that. So we built a blog that takes creature cocks seriously (but not too seriously).
Here, you’ll get:
- Actual measurements and comparisons
- Price and stock info across stores
- Honest pros and cons for each toy
- No shame. No kink-policing. Just raw, real info.
🧪 What Makes Our Reviews Different
We don’t just describe the packaging—we use the toys and tell you what it’s really like.
We rate based on:
- Design & Texture
- Suction Cup Strength
- Knot Challenge Level™
- Cleanup Experience
- Fantasy Appeal (yes, we rank “would this monster breed me?” energy)
We also include price comparison tables, care tips, and advice on whether that glorious demon dong is worth the coin.
👁 Who Runs This Thing?
This site is run by a small team of sex toy nerds, monster fans, and fantasy kinksters who think pleasure should be fun, safe, and weird as hell. We’re not sponsored by any brand—we’re free to say what we want, and we do.
We’re not sex educators. We’re not therapists. We’re just people who believe fantasy toys deserve better reviews—and that you deserve the info to pick the right beast.
💬 Got Questions? Suggestions? Want to Say Hi?
You can reach out to us anytime on the Contact Page or leave a comment on a review. We love hearing from fellow collectors and first-timers alike.
💰 Affiliate Disclosure
Some links on this site may be affiliate links, which means we earn a small commission if you make a purchase. It helps keep the site running—but we don’t let that influence our reviews.
If a toy sucks (literally or figuratively), we’ll say so.
🐾 Our Promise
Creature Cock Reviews will always be:
- Honest (even brutally so)
- Judgment-free
- Sex-positive
- Here for the fantasy
Whether you’re shopping for your first alien dong or your tenth werewolf knot, we’re here to guide you through the chaos with some laughs along the way.